Browsing This
I was almost worried for a second.
It’s Monday. Fuck Mondays.
Now that’s over with I want to talk to you about something near and dear to my heart. I speak, of course, about English. I am a very stereotypical white male in that I believe that if you either live in or are visiting this country you should have (at the very least) a rudimentary understanding of the English language. Will I beat you unconscious, pull your pants down, stick a fire cracker in your ass then light it just because you don’t speak my language? No. I’ll forgive you that transgression. However, this is directed to those people that do actually live here and yet still can’t string 5 words together well enough to be understood by a majority of the population.
I was a little trepidatious this morning when I came to the computer because I didn’t really have anything to talk about. My weekend consisted of cleaning and watching Buffy reruns. Fuck you, the show’s awesome. However, leave it to the Internet to supply me with a never ending fountain of canon fodder. I visit BlogCatalog.com fairly often because I have a post there where I critique other people’s blogs. Am I, in any way, qualified to do this? Not even a little. Do people still continuously ask me to visit their pages and write a review for them? They sure do. So I say, fuck it. If you want me to prattle on about how I’m better than you, I’ll gladly oblige. I give you this back information because this is how I found what I was going to write about.
What the fuck is wrong with our educational system today?!!? And I don’t want to hear any shit about how underpaid our teachers are. Or how the frivolous lawsuits against schools degrade the quality of education. Or how there are so many teachers sleeping with their students. It’s all a load of shit. Teachers have always been underpaid. Retarded parents have always tried to sue a school district because their little inbred child got a headache from putting his tongue on the bleachers in 20° weather. I explicitly remember sleeping with one of my classmate’s 35 year old stepmother (sorry, Brian) when I was a junior (which brings up a whole other point of the pussiness of today’s kids. What the fuck is wrong with them? I loved the fact that I banged a hot, 35 year old when I was a mere 16. And kids today run off and tattle after it’s over? Every single person that I went to high school with would happily beat the fuck out of any of the kids today that sleep with a teacher then go tell. You’re raising bitches, people!) Teachers have had it rough for as long as I can remember. Yet, somehow, my teachers managed to teach me how to properly form a sentence. They taught me inconsequential things like grammar and spelling. Yet, somehow, kids today have no idea how to properly conjugate a verb. I would settle for kids properly putting a subject and predicate together in some attempt to string a cohesive thought into words. But I digress.
So, I signed into BlogCatalog.com today and went to see if there were more people that willingly open themselves up to my scorn, mockery and ridicule. And there were. Two of the sites stood out in the sea of LOLs and L8ers. Here are a few posts from these sites that I couldn’t just chalk up to typos or inebriated banter. Please note that I have not altered this drivel in any way. This is actually how it was written:
I just got back from the night out starting on Friday. It was a hectic night, filled with fun, pleasure, joy, excitement, adrenaline rush, disastrous moment ever for me, a wind of scare and the paranoia event.
Which explained, that include happy moment, high adrenaline rush, sexy tempo and of course fights of here and there. All of those, explained the paranoia session; whether it was me or them. Cannot be precised on this one, though. It’s magnificently abstract with colourful odd patterns.
Then I went for vacation (to Madrid and Paris, I didn’t go out, I kind of neglecting him, and he was neglecting me…)… I came back from vacation, he went for vacation. Then we had four days to meet up before he go for his Christmas & New Year vacation. (during the time when I was in vacation, he sent me text everyday, very nice. But, when the last day I was in Madrid, things got ugly, he started back again about being best friends only… and just friend thingy).
Since he allows me to post this topic and it because so many argumentations between him, me and my friends, I have questions for all man and woman out there:
(1). Is woman these days too easy to be bought and tricked?
Two months ago a colleague of mine coming out .A.K.A. confessed that he’s ‘gay’ and planning on telling his entire friend on New Years Eve that he’s proud of being gay men… BUT! Right now he’s in the cross road of afraid loosing his friend, best friend, good relationship and all… He needs more preparation and just to confirmed which one U R…
That’s all I can take. This is actually making me stupider.
Tags: English, BlogCatalog.com, educational system, high school
9 Users Commented In " I was almost worried for a second. "
That person sounds like they are from another country……….
either way, what you said made me pee a lil…awesome!
If all of these posts were from the same person, then I would agree with you that perhaps English is their second language. Unfortunately, these 5 posts were taken off of 2 different sites with 3 different authors. Sad, I know. I weep for the future.
“”My weekend consisted of cleaning and watching Buffy reruns. Fuck you, the show’s awesome.”"
I hope so I got the complete series on DVD for Christmas. 
There’s something about watching an entire series in succession without commercials. Ah, the bliss of technology.
I’m not entirely sure why I’m sharing this other than the fact that I have nothing better to do but I have the first 6 seasons on DVD. I blame David Boreanaz for the whole thing. Bones is one of my favorite shows. I love the way that his character and Emily Deschanel’s character interact. This lead my wife to introduce me to Buffy. I watched the first 5 or 6 episodes and was hooked. It’s so cheesy and campy (on purpose. The show knows when to make fun of itself) that I had to keep watching. Plus no commercial interruptions make me buy television seasons on DVD like they’re going out of style.
Why don’t you critic my blog???
Correct me if I am wrong, dear boy, but this statement has me confused: “conjugate a noun”
We conjugate VERBS. Silly.
And please feel free to critique my new blog. I had to take the old ones down due to psychos abound.
Oh, and I agree with you about the sleeping with the teacher thing. Wouldn’t ANY 16 year old consider himself VERY lucky to get laid? Especially with a beautiful, experienced older woman? Jesus. The world’s going to hell in a hand basket.
And finally, I am feeling a significant drop in my IQ, after reading those samples of blog posts? Good God. That is all.
HAHAHA! i love reading your ramblings John dear, lol especially the part about banging Brian’s mom i think i did wet myself, like lacey below, anyhow i totally agree with the point your making, and I would beat the crap outta my kids if they did some silly shit like that!! just throwing that out there for all the radicals who say “striking” isnt the answer. anyho just wanted to throw my 2 cents in the pot not like it makes much difference, either way its just 2 cents….
