Sparks Of Sanity

For Every Action, There Is An Equal And Opposite Criticism

Browsing This

The 11 Most Unintentionally Gay Rap Lyrics Ever

Posted in May 7th, 2008
Published in Random Shit

With all of the negative press surrounding hip-hop music, rappers often complain about the media taking their lyrics out of context, to make them seem more violent or misogynistic than they really are.
As a journalistic institution built on a foundation of honesty and integrity, Sparks Of Sanity would never stoop to such lows. But take those lyrics out of context to make them sound gay? I’m on it.

Eminem: “Don’t Push Me”

The Lyric:
“Man I’m done saying that I’m done playing, Im’ma a start laying any of these motherfucking cocksuckers.”

What He’s Probably Saying:
“No joke, my patience is exhausted and now I’m gonna start shooting people.”

What I Like To Think He’s Saying:
“Seriously, I’m gonna start having sex with dudes.”

50 Cent: “Gun Runners”

The Lyric:
Man on phone: “I got beef, I wanna see what you got, and if I like it I’ll cop”.
50 Cent: “Damn nigga, you hot!”

What He’s Probably Saying:
Man on phone: “I have a conflict, I’d like to see your guns, if I like them I’ll buy.”
50 Cent: “Damn man you got problems!”

What I Like To Think He’s Saying:
Man on phone: “I’m well-endowed, I’d like to see if you are also, if you are we’ll engage in sex.”
50 Cent: “Damn, man. You’re sexy!”

Ice-T: “I Love Ladies”

The Lyric:
“But don’t get me wrong, most fellas do rock.”

What He’s Probably Saying:
“Dudes are cool, but when it comes to sex, I love ladies.”

What I Like To Think He’s Saying:
“Don’t get me wrong, I will bang a guy, too.”

Jay-Z feat. Memphis Bleek: “Coming of Age”

The Lyric:
Jay-Z: “Hey fella, I been watchin’ you clockin’”
MB: “Who me holding down this block it ain’t nothing, you the man nigga, now stop frontin’.”
Jay-Z: “Ha ha! I like your style!”
MB: “Nah, I like YO style!”
Jay-Z: “Let’s drive around awhile”.
MB: “Cool, nigga.”
Jay-Z: “Here’s a thou!”

What He’s Probably Saying:
“I like you, you should sell crack for me. Here’s a sign-on bonus!”

What I Like To Think He’s Saying:
“Hey fella, I’ve had my eye on you for awhile, I like how you look in those baggy jeans. Let’s go park somewhere and have sex. I’ll even pay you!”

Nas: “One Love”

The Lyric:
“But I heard you blew a nigga with a ox for the phone piece.”

What He’s Probably Saying:
“Hey, I heard you stabbed somebody because they wouldn’t let you talk on the phone.”

What I Like To Think He’s Saying:
“Hey, I heard you gave a dude with a pet ox a blow job so he’d let you use the phone.”

Black Moon: “Ack Like U Want It”

The Lyric:
“I get paid to rip, step aside, Im’ma blow you.”

What He’s Probably Saying:
“I get paid to be awesome, now get out of my way before I shoot you.”

What I Like To Think He’s Saying:
“Relax, I do this for a living, move a little to the left so I can give you oral sex.”

DJ Quik: “Dollaz + Sense”

The Lyric:
“Now, I never had my dick sucked by a man befo’, but you gone be the first, you little trick-ass ho.”

What He’s Probably Saying:
“I’m so much of a badass, you’re basically a woman in my presence, so I’m gonna make you blow me.”

What I Like To Think He’s Saying:
“I’ve never done this before, you know, let a guy put my junk in his mouth. This is my first time. You little trick-ass ho.”

Black Rob: “Whoa!”

The Lyric:
“Plus I’m gettin’ brain from this chick like whoa! Finger near a nigga asshole like whoa!”

What He’s Probably Saying:
“So this chick was blowing me right, next thing I know she starts putting her finger near my ass and I’m all like WHOA!!”

What I Like To Think He’s Saying:
“So I’m in this room with a guy and his girlfriend, right? One thing leads to another, next thing I know, the chick is blowing me, I’m about to put my finger in dude’s ass, and I’m like … whoa! This is awesome!”

50 Cent, Part 2: “Piggy Bank”

The Lyric:
“Yayo, bring the condoms, I’m in room 203.”

What He’s Probably Saying:
“Dude, bring me some condoms, I’m gonna nail this chick, I’m in room 203.”

What I Like To Think He’s Saying:
“Dude, fuck it, let’s have sex, bring condoms, I’m in room 203.”

2Pac: “If My Homie Calls”

The Lyric:
“Ever since you was a pee-wee, down by my knee with a wee-wee.”

What He’s Probably Saying:
“I’ve known you since you were knee-high to a cricket!”

What I Like To Think He’s Saying:
“Ever since we were young, we’ve engaged in fellatio.”

50 Cent, Part 3: “Ryder Music”

The Lyric:
“I read somewhere I’m homophobic, shiiiiit. Go through the hood, there’s mad niggas on my dick.”

What He’s Probably Saying:
“People call me homophobic, but it’s not true. In fact, when I go back to my old neighborhood, all kinds of dudes are on my dick. Ha ha! See what I did there? On my dick. Homophobic. Get it?”

What I Like To Think He’s Saying:
“I’m not homophobic, in fact, I still have sex with several guys from my old neighborhood.”

3 Users Commented In " The 11 Most Unintentionally Gay Rap Lyrics Ever "

Subscribes to this post Comment RSS or TrackBack URL
John says,
5-8-2008 at 16:09:33 from 171.161.160.10    

I’m a genius. It’s true.

Blaze says,
5-18-2008 at 03:30:40 from 200.88.170.146    

:mrgreen: nice… I think I’ll pay more attention to hip-hop now… Yeah and get away from them too

Greg says,
5-22-2008 at 15:37:52 from 76.24.225.117    

This is great stuff…nice to see some rap subverted for alternate purposes…or is it simply revealed for how unclear the intent really is? Heh…nice job!

Leave Your Reply Below

 Username

 Email Address

 Website

Sticky note: Please double check your comments before submit Please Note: The comment moderation maybe active so there is no need to resubmit your comment

A Quick Rundown

This site is dedicated to all the shit I like. You know, those things you read that are so irreverent, ricockulous, outlandish, eccentric and off-the-wall that your only response is to sit back in your chair and ask, "WTF?!!?" This site has nothing to do with you nor what you're interested in. If you have neither a sense of humor nor a fondness for satire, it's probably better that you hit your browser's 'back' button and find something else to read.