It’s that time of year again, when school is out and we plan a nice vacation that hopefully doesn’t end in any kind of death or mutilation for us and all of our friends. To make sure your trip goes as smoothly as possible, here are five steps to follow from a reliable source: Hollywood slasher movies.

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It’s bullshit. I could probably leave it at that, but I will expound in the unlikely event that the RIAA, MPAA, or anyone involved in the copyright infringement suit will read this.

Today, four people involved in the running of file-sharing site The Pirate Bay were indicted in Sweden on charges of being accessories to breaking copyright law. You read that correctly. Four people. Four fucking people. Hans Fredrik Neij, Per Svartholm Warg, Peter Kolmisoppi and Carl Lundström, are suspected of organizing and running The Pirate Bay, and thus “promoting other people’s infringements of copyright laws.” Why stop there? I think the Swedish government should also charge every personal computer, piece of electronics, photocopier, and media manufacture in the world with “being accessories to breaking copyright law.” First of all, these four guys are heroes. Why, you may ask? I will tell you. For years the movie studios and television executives (we’ll stick with them for now, I’m not even going to start in on the record labels or software manufacturers) have been trying to cram their shitty products down our throats while charging us exorbitant prices for their “services.” I mean, $8.50 to go see a movie? Fuck you. Anyway, the medium has shifted. And instead of trying to keep up and supply our demand, they demand that we submit to their supply. I’m sorry, but that’s not how economics work. (I did go to college.) Continue reading this post…

I’m sincerely sorry to everyone that has to listen to me talk about this again, but it’s pretty seldom that I get up in arms about anything. Well, apparently the stupidity of Hollywood and Scientologists really gets under my skin. I know you’re thinking, “John, after yesterday’s 9 minute Cruise craziness, surely there isn’t anything else to say.” Well, my friends, wrong you are. I want to thank a friend of mine for getting me the entire long video. He asked me not to mention his name, so I will not. But I sincerely an thankful for the opportunity to waste an entire hour of my life just to bring the mocking, ridicule and scorn to all the dozens of fans I have.

I’m not asking you to watch every one of the clips below. Christ knows I wish I hadn’t. But, if you’re in for a good laugh and ready to weep for little Suri, hunker down with some popcorn and get ready to laugh at your computer screen. Continue reading this post…

This video was originally put on YouTube, but after a mere 3 hours the Scientology cult had their lawyers force YouTube to remove it. Luckily, the Scientology lawyers can sue me all they want since I don’t own anything of value. They’re more than welcome to my 1982 Pinto. By the way, this video gets better every time you watch it. However, don’t expect to understand a single thing no matter how may times it’s replayed. I’ve always said that Tom Cruise was an idiot, but after watching this video I had no idea how far off the deep end he actually was. Tiny Tom’s fustian and inane rhetoric surpasses my wildest dreams, and where he’s concerned, I was dreaming big. Katie Kate Holmes Hubbard Cruise appears to have sold her soul to the devil for a big red Birkin bag. Hope it was worth it.

Warning: Once this has been seen it can never be unseen. Proceed with caution.

Edit: It seems like everytime this video goes up somewhere it is taken down a few hours afterwards. This is the fourth time today I’ve had to find somewhere that’s hosting it. If anyone has this actual video file, plese send it to me and I’ll gladly host it here. I can’t say I blame them for wanting to make it disappear. The video was part of a package when Tom Cruise appeared before the International Association of Scientologists and accepted its ‘Freedom Medal of Valor.’ Continue reading this post…

Tags: Scientology, YouTube, Tom Cruise